Such an important article! It's one thing to tell parents "don't use harsh parenting methods" and it's another thing completely to give them tools to actually do that.
Been working on this for years now. Shame and not having compassion for myself are probably 2 of the biggest hurdles that have been keeping my self regulation from getting better. Also not putting my self care at the top of my priority list has been detrimental to accomplishing my goals with this process. Having all these tips together helps!
Thank you SO MUCH for this!! I feel like you wrote this just for me. I have bipolar II and 2 kids and keeping my cool is not always easy. People talk about staying calm like it's just an easy choice to make, when that's simply not the case. I feel so validated when you say that emotional regulation is harder for parents who are highly empathetic. That's me to a T! I have been working on mindfulness, and walking away when I need a minute. Just yesterday I found myself starting to yell, so I stopped mid-sentence, turned away and took a breath, said out loud "I'm a good mom" and was able to apologize and de-escalate. Huge for me. Usually when the trigger point comes and I'm starting to yell, it's impossible to reign the anger back in.
Very underrated point. We spend so much time teaching children self-restraint and regulation when we are not modelling it effectively all the time ourselves. Also, a calm head makes rational decisions and allows you to analyse and respond to behaviour more effectively.
Thank you for writing and sharing this. This is a really powerful and thought provoking post. With some great examples of how to improve self-regulation.
I'm not a parent myself but I often use walks or reframing situations as a form of self-regulation.
Such an important article! It's one thing to tell parents "don't use harsh parenting methods" and it's another thing completely to give them tools to actually do that.
Very true. It seems parents and teachers are just told what not to do these days.
Been working on this for years now. Shame and not having compassion for myself are probably 2 of the biggest hurdles that have been keeping my self regulation from getting better. Also not putting my self care at the top of my priority list has been detrimental to accomplishing my goals with this process. Having all these tips together helps!
So glad you found it helpful!
Thank you SO MUCH for this!! I feel like you wrote this just for me. I have bipolar II and 2 kids and keeping my cool is not always easy. People talk about staying calm like it's just an easy choice to make, when that's simply not the case. I feel so validated when you say that emotional regulation is harder for parents who are highly empathetic. That's me to a T! I have been working on mindfulness, and walking away when I need a minute. Just yesterday I found myself starting to yell, so I stopped mid-sentence, turned away and took a breath, said out loud "I'm a good mom" and was able to apologize and de-escalate. Huge for me. Usually when the trigger point comes and I'm starting to yell, it's impossible to reign the anger back in.
Children need adult parents not big children. Here are my thoughts on the matter: https://soberchristiangentlemanpodcast.substack.com/p/s2-ep-16-parents-we-need-to-have-025
Very underrated point. We spend so much time teaching children self-restraint and regulation when we are not modelling it effectively all the time ourselves. Also, a calm head makes rational decisions and allows you to analyse and respond to behaviour more effectively.
Thank you for writing and sharing this. This is a really powerful and thought provoking post. With some great examples of how to improve self-regulation.
I'm not a parent myself but I often use walks or reframing situations as a form of self-regulation.