Appreciate this summary! One thing that's lacking from this discussion however is how race plays a role. The idealization of trad wives are so closely linked with the performance of a specific type of whiteness, and I would love to hear how researchers have attempted to look at this as it relates to traditional gender roles.
One advantage of sharing household/childcare labor is that both partners know what's involved in these tasks. Different divisions of labor may work for different families, but appreciation is free and priceless in relationships.
Division of labor may also shift over time. I did more childcare/housework when our kids were young, but my husband does more housework now because, with college bills, my career has ramped up, and he now works from home.
What a terrific review of the research on traditional versus egalitarian marriages and I agree about the important take home message of perceptions of "fairness" as well as feeling acknowledged for contributions made. There is a newish big data study on predictors of marital happiness that suggests that on the ground behaviors matter far less than our PERCEPTION of on the ground behaviors and this newsletter supports this general notion.
I was disappointed with this article. Most of your posts outline relevant topics specific to parenting, this one seemed to be more of a criticism of a person and a lifestyle. There is always nuance and context to take into account when considering an issue like this, and implicit in the conversation is that no two families (or people!) are exactly alike. It's therefore impossible to use "research" and "scientific data" to draw a conclusion about whether a mom foregoing an away-from-home work environment would be better for her, her children, or her spouse. I was also frustrated by the lack of clear definition for "traditional wife" and the muddy water that was left in its wake. It sounded like you were implying that moms who stay at home by choice also inherently defer their political views to someone else, or seek permission to leave their own homes. There is so much of a spread of what could be meant by that phrase and that was not provided for well.
You wrote, "However, given the increasingly egalitarian society that we live in, it is becoming increasingly difficult to see this arrangement as fair and be satisfied with it." I disagree profoundly, as a mom who does work outside the home and is in an egalitarian marriage where the housework is shared. Why? Because I have had times when I was home and it wasn't like that, and I was happier--because my heart is rooted in my home and my children and my husband. Humans often chase passions regardless of the work it requires, and my passion is for my family. Not all work is drudgery. I think that's what your article misses in a colossal way: you can't quantify individual values, beliefs and passions in an empirical dataset.
I’m a nurse in psychiatry and was previously in cardiology. It’s shocking how weak the research supporting anything in psychology is compared to the other sciences. Psychology is often referred to as a pseudoscience. We don’t know how our medications work (we have theories), we can’t agree on how to raise kids, we fight over the distinction between disease & normal variants in behavior, and our success in treating illness has actually decreased over time. As you suggested, it’s impossible to conclude much from our studies due to the amount of uncontrollable confounding variables.
Interesting take, Dr. Cara! The Trad Wife movement highlights a complex issue. Research shows egalitarian roles often lead to more happiness. True contentment comes from fairness and appreciation. What’s your view on balancing responsibilities in relationships?
Appreciate this summary! One thing that's lacking from this discussion however is how race plays a role. The idealization of trad wives are so closely linked with the performance of a specific type of whiteness, and I would love to hear how researchers have attempted to look at this as it relates to traditional gender roles.
Great point! I’ll look and see what I can find on this topic!
"...the work of running a household is difficult and important work, and should be acknowledged and appreciated".
I believe the above statement to be the issue most times, not necessarily the ratio of the split.
Thanks Dr Cara for going deep on this.
Yes!
One advantage of sharing household/childcare labor is that both partners know what's involved in these tasks. Different divisions of labor may work for different families, but appreciation is free and priceless in relationships.
Division of labor may also shift over time. I did more childcare/housework when our kids were young, but my husband does more housework now because, with college bills, my career has ramped up, and he now works from home.
What a terrific review of the research on traditional versus egalitarian marriages and I agree about the important take home message of perceptions of "fairness" as well as feeling acknowledged for contributions made. There is a newish big data study on predictors of marital happiness that suggests that on the ground behaviors matter far less than our PERCEPTION of on the ground behaviors and this newsletter supports this general notion.
I was disappointed with this article. Most of your posts outline relevant topics specific to parenting, this one seemed to be more of a criticism of a person and a lifestyle. There is always nuance and context to take into account when considering an issue like this, and implicit in the conversation is that no two families (or people!) are exactly alike. It's therefore impossible to use "research" and "scientific data" to draw a conclusion about whether a mom foregoing an away-from-home work environment would be better for her, her children, or her spouse. I was also frustrated by the lack of clear definition for "traditional wife" and the muddy water that was left in its wake. It sounded like you were implying that moms who stay at home by choice also inherently defer their political views to someone else, or seek permission to leave their own homes. There is so much of a spread of what could be meant by that phrase and that was not provided for well.
You wrote, "However, given the increasingly egalitarian society that we live in, it is becoming increasingly difficult to see this arrangement as fair and be satisfied with it." I disagree profoundly, as a mom who does work outside the home and is in an egalitarian marriage where the housework is shared. Why? Because I have had times when I was home and it wasn't like that, and I was happier--because my heart is rooted in my home and my children and my husband. Humans often chase passions regardless of the work it requires, and my passion is for my family. Not all work is drudgery. I think that's what your article misses in a colossal way: you can't quantify individual values, beliefs and passions in an empirical dataset.
I’m a nurse in psychiatry and was previously in cardiology. It’s shocking how weak the research supporting anything in psychology is compared to the other sciences. Psychology is often referred to as a pseudoscience. We don’t know how our medications work (we have theories), we can’t agree on how to raise kids, we fight over the distinction between disease & normal variants in behavior, and our success in treating illness has actually decreased over time. As you suggested, it’s impossible to conclude much from our studies due to the amount of uncontrollable confounding variables.
I’ve been reading through that large sample study all day, thank you for always sharing such fascinating data!
So glad you found it interesting!
Fascinating read and your findings definitely make sense!
So glad you think so!
Interesting take, Dr. Cara! The Trad Wife movement highlights a complex issue. Research shows egalitarian roles often lead to more happiness. True contentment comes from fairness and appreciation. What’s your view on balancing responsibilities in relationships?