I really agree with the points in this article! I’ve tried various ‘parenting scripts,’ and they hardly work when my child is upset. Staying calm and using non-verbal cues really does help. I also find the ‘One-Up’ language strategy very practical—it makes it easier for children to understand without overwhelming them. Thank you for sharing so much research-backed advice and concrete strategies; it’s been really helpful for my daily parenting!
This is an exactly why I do what I do. I was so tired of generic advice that never seemed to work on my kids and never getting to the root of why my kid was having a specific experience. Thank you for reminding parents that talking can sometimes exacerbate the issue, that their rational thinking brain isn’t online when having a tantrum/meltdown and what parents can do to help.
Dr. Goodwin thank you for always sharing information that keeps parents BALANCED. There is no one size fits all. Honestly, I can say that I have never labeled my children's behaviors as a tantrum and that does not mean they never had one but it does influence how I have addressed it. We all have different definitions for things and we are all different so to think any approach is more or less appropriate makes no sense (excluding all types of abuse of course).
Parenting is challenging and there are so many theories about how to do and what works in certain scenarios. I really like when you said "A very important caveat here is that every child is different and parents should also observe what works for their individual child." I think this is the key listen to what the experts say but it's very important to use what works in your situation for your child.
Yes, I have personally witnessed children reacting worse when I label their emotions. This makes sense in light of their overwhelming emotions. Because tantrums tend to be overwhelming to me too, I tend to ignore them or walk away before I start yelling at them to stop being babies or something. Apparently that’s ok because it teaches kids to self-soothe. I’ll still do the emotional debriefing afterwards, but the hardest thing to do isn’t to follow the script, but to say it in a tone that isn’t accusatory or angry.
I really agree with the points in this article! I’ve tried various ‘parenting scripts,’ and they hardly work when my child is upset. Staying calm and using non-verbal cues really does help. I also find the ‘One-Up’ language strategy very practical—it makes it easier for children to understand without overwhelming them. Thank you for sharing so much research-backed advice and concrete strategies; it’s been really helpful for my daily parenting!
So glad you liked it!
This is an exactly why I do what I do. I was so tired of generic advice that never seemed to work on my kids and never getting to the root of why my kid was having a specific experience. Thank you for reminding parents that talking can sometimes exacerbate the issue, that their rational thinking brain isn’t online when having a tantrum/meltdown and what parents can do to help.
So glad you agree!
Dr. Goodwin thank you for always sharing information that keeps parents BALANCED. There is no one size fits all. Honestly, I can say that I have never labeled my children's behaviors as a tantrum and that does not mean they never had one but it does influence how I have addressed it. We all have different definitions for things and we are all different so to think any approach is more or less appropriate makes no sense (excluding all types of abuse of course).
Parenting is challenging and there are so many theories about how to do and what works in certain scenarios. I really like when you said "A very important caveat here is that every child is different and parents should also observe what works for their individual child." I think this is the key listen to what the experts say but it's very important to use what works in your situation for your child.
Yes!! There is no universal solution!
Yes, I have personally witnessed children reacting worse when I label their emotions. This makes sense in light of their overwhelming emotions. Because tantrums tend to be overwhelming to me too, I tend to ignore them or walk away before I start yelling at them to stop being babies or something. Apparently that’s ok because it teaches kids to self-soothe. I’ll still do the emotional debriefing afterwards, but the hardest thing to do isn’t to follow the script, but to say it in a tone that isn’t accusatory or angry.
Love your approach!
Thanks! I’m trying.