When Children Drop Their Naps

The research behind when and why children stop napping and how to handle it as a parent

Feb 09, 2023

Source: Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

My two older children both stopped napping around 2 1/2 years old. It was beyond terrible timing— in both cases, I had just brought home a newborn sibling and I had been counting on that nap to get a break from the relentless demands of having a newborn and a toddler. I realize now that it was likely not just bad timing and their refusal to nap was likely related to the transition of a new sibling and their craving as much time with me as possible. However, it was still hands-down the hardest transition I faced as a mother and it took me a long time to accept it as the “new normal.” Because I had newborn at , I was not able to implement a plan to keep them napping such as returning them to their room a hundred times or driving them around until they fell asleep. I was also too exhausted to try to come up with a consistent “quiet time” plan. Instead, I simply gave up and moved their bedtime up to 6:30pm which seemed to at least improve their afternoon moods.

My third child just turned 2 1/2 and I am terrified that his time is coming as well. Although I do not have a newborn right now, his naps seem to be getting shorter and he seems to be fighting them more. Just as I was writing this newsletter, I heard the pitter patter of little feet down the stairs and the two words every mother dreads during nap time “Me Up.”

When a child drops their last nap, it can be a very difficult transition for parents. Most parents have come to rely on this time for a chance to accomplish important tasks, have a break from the constant demands of a young child, and maybe even take a nap themselves. It is hard to imagine surviving as a parent without this much-needed respite. In today’s newsletter, I will discuss the research behind why naps are important, when children stop napping, why this transition occurs, and practical tips for what to do when facing this difficult yet inevitable transition.

When Do Most Children Stop Napping?

Research finds that the age at which children transition from napping varies widely, from 2 years to 7 years. Research finds that most children also drop their nap gradually— going from napping consistently every day, to napping inconsistently, to dropping the nap entirely.

So when do most children make this transition? A meta-analysis from 2020 found the following:

Less than 2.5% of children stop napping before age 2
33% of children stop napping by age 3
57% of children stop napping by age 4
80% of children stop napping by age 4.5
94% of children stop napping by age 5.5

Why Is Napping Important?

Napping is essential for young children to get the necessary sleep that they need. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under 12 months get 12 to 16 hours of sleep per day, children 1 to 2 years old get 11 to 14 hours per day, and children 3 to 5 years get 10 to 13 hours per day. In order to achieve this total daytime sleep, most young children will need to nap during the day.

Previous research also suggests that napping has many benefits for young children. Specifically, research finds that napping seems to improve children’s ability to learn language, problem-solve, and consolidate memories (translation: transferring a memory from “short term storage” to “long term storage”). In most of these studies researchers measure children’s performance before and after napping versus their performance at the same times of day with no nap. For example, researchers found that, when children are taught a memory game in the morning, their memory is stronger after taking an afternoon nap.

As any parent of a child who has missed a nap can tell you, napping is also important for children’s moods. Research finds that 2- to 3-year-old children who miss their nap were more likely to show negative emotions and less likely to show positive emotions. They are also more likely to become frustrated with a difficult task, suggesting that skipping a nap may reduce emotional regulation abilities.

However, one study with 3- to 5-year-olds suggests that these benefits may only occur for children who are still napping regularly and that children who have dropped their naps may not “need” nap to get these cognitive benefits. In other words, the children who no longer nap regularly do not seem to need a nap it for optimal brain functioning. However, another study with a slightly younger age group (only 3-year-olds) found that both regular nappers and non-regular nappers showed improved word learning after a nap, suggesting both groups still need a nap.

Why Do Children Stop Napping?

There are many different reasons that a child may stop napping and research suggests that it isn’t likely just one factor that causes children to drop their nap but a combination of different factors working together (see the Socioecological model of sleep here). These factors include both genetic/biological (“nature”) and environmental/cultural factors (“nurture”). Environmental factors (meaning anything that is not genetic or biological) seem to play a larger role as children get older. For example, research finds that whether a 30-month-old is still napping is 48% determined by environment and a 48-month-old’s nap is 79% determined by environment.

So what factors are most likely to determine when a child stops napping?

Parent attitudes. Parent attitudes towards napping, such as whether the parent encourages the child to nap, also play an important role. Research finds that parents who encourage napping are more likely to have children who nap for longer during the day. Another study found that parents of children who are regular nappers are more likely to value daytime sleep, have positive views on napping, believe napping benefits their child, and have fewer schedule-related concerns about napping. In other words, these parents may have changed their schedules to make napping a priority.
Other family influences. Research finds that children are more likely to drop a nap when they have an older sibling or when their primary caregiver does not work. Dropping a nap early (before three years of age) is also more common in girls than boys, which may be related to parental views of boys vs. girls, sex differences, or a combination of both.
Longer nighttime sleep. Research finds that children who sleep longer at night are more likely to drop their naps earlier. As children get older, their sleep tends to consolidate into longer nighttime sleeping and their sleep needs drop, meaning they are more likely to fulfill their sleep needs during the night alone.
Having “low sleep needs”. The amount of sleep a child gets every day varies widely and research suggests that genetics plays a role in both nighttime and daytime sleep. This research suggests that some children may simply be born with lower “sleep needs” and there is very little that parents can do to alter this.
Cultural differences. Research also finds cultural and racial differences play a role in the age at which children stop napping which further suggests environmental factors may be at play. For example, research finds that children in European countries stop napping before children in Australia and Asian countries and that children in European countries are more likely to stop napping between 24 to 36 months when compared to children in North American countries.
Research also finds racial differences in napping. In the United States, for example, Black children stop napping at older ages than White children. This is likely related to differences in nighttime sleep because Black children also have significantly less nighttime sleep. It may also be related to differences in cultural beliefs about child sleep.
Differences in brain development. A recent study suggests that differences in children’s brain development may determine when they stop napping . Specifically, these researchers found that children who regularly nap versus children who don’t show differences in the hippocampus, a brain region related to memory consolidation. Think of the hippocampus as “short term storage” and the cortex as “long term storage.” Napping helps to move the memories from the hippocampus to the cortex for “long term storage” of memories. It is like emptying a bucket so that it can be filled up again.
The researchers found that children who were still napping had a hippocampus that was less mature (that is, it resembled that of younger children) so their hippocampus was more likely to “fill up” with memories and they were more likely to require a nap to “empty” the hippocampus for new memories to come in. Children with a more mature hippocampus can wait until the end of the day when they empty out their hippocampus during nighttime sleep.
Does this mean that the brain development of children who are still napping is “delayed” or that something is wrong? Definitely not but it does provide an explanation for why some children still seem to “need” a nap and others don’t. All children’s brains develop at different rates and it is not necessarily a predictor of future intelligence or success. In addition, brain development alone cannot be the only explanation since research finds that 80% of the variance in whether children nap or not at age 4 is explained by environmental factors.

Does Napping Impact Nighttime Sleep?

As children get older, parents may start to notice that the afternoon nap has a noticeable impact on nighttime sleep. A common saying is “sleep begets sleep” (meaning that the better a child sleeps during the day, the better they will sleep at night) but this seems to run counter to our experiences as parents. Most parents report that when their child takes a long or late nap during the day, they have trouble falling asleep at night and, when they skip a nap, they fall asleep at the dinner table.

As children get older, parents may also wonder if they should skip a nap or cut a nap short in order to improve nighttime sleep. So to what extent does napping impact nighttime sleep? And does this means that parents should stop their children from napping if it is disturbing their nighttime sleep?

A review study published in 2014 found that napping during the day is consistently linked to falling asleep later at night as well as decreased sleep duration and quality of sleep at night. In other words, children who nap tend to go to sleep later at night and sleep for a shorter time and more poorly at night than children who do not nap. However, this association was strongest for children over the age of 2 years, suggesting that naps may only significantly impact nighttime sleep for children over 2.

Another recent study examined napping in 1.5-year-old children and how naps impacted nighttime sleep. The researchers found that the longer toddlers nap during the day, the later they went to sleep at night and the less time they slept at night overall. The timing of the nap also seemed to have a significant impact with late afternoon naps disturbing sleep to a greater extent. In other words, it may not be napping in itself that disrupts nighttime sleep but napping for longer or later in the day.

It is important to note that it remains unclear the extent to which naps vs. nighttime sleeping contribute to early brain development (although we do know that getting sufficient sleep is critical to brain development) and the extent to which nighttime vs. daytime sleep is more “restorative.”

TRANSLATION: A shorter nap in the early afternoon may help if your child struggles with nighttime sleep. However, if your child is napping well and sleeping well at night, there is no reason to cut their nap short or skip it altogether.

What About Napping at School or Child Care?

A big piece to the napping puzzle is that many children in preschool or child care are required (or strongly encouraged) to nap up until age 5. As mentioned above, children with working parents are more likely to continue napping after age 3 and this may be related to a child of working parents being more likely to be in child care and thus being more to have a required nap time. In some child care settings, naps are “mandatory” meaning no other activities are provided during this time and children are required to lie down and at least attempt a nap, while in other child care settings children are allowed to engage in alternative activities such as looking at books if they can’t nap. In one study of preschool classrooms (3- to 5-year-olds) in Australia, 83% of preschools had a “mandatory” nap time and 69% of children did not sleep during this time.

So does this policy of “mandatory” nap time an important way to encourage sleep in children who need a nap or simply “down time”? Or is a mandatory nap time boring, understimulating, and perhaps even stressful for children?

Although mandatory nap time is of course important for infants and young toddlers, research suggests that this policy of “mandatory” nap time may be stressful for preschool-age children. One study found an increase in negative emotions around a
”mandatory” nap time (children were required to lie down even if not sleeping). Research also finds that the children who do not sleep during mandatory nap time show higher levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) and more distress during this time. Other research has found that the mandatory nap period has no significant impact on cortisol levels and does not reduce cortisol during the rest of the day (aka does not reduce stress in children). In addition, children who were in mandatory nap conditions and did not sleep also did not show the typical decrease in cortisol at bedtime, suggesting that not being able to nap during a mandatory nap time may impact nighttime sleep.

TRANSLATION: We have no evidence that mandatory nap time is beneficial to young children and some evidence that mandatory naps may cause more stress.

Translation

So what are the takeaways from this research? How does this research inform your parenting around the transition away from napping?

Observe signs in your individual child rather relying upon age to determine when your child is “ready” to give up nap. The age at which a child stops napping varies widely from 2 to 7 years, so it is important that parents know their individual child rather than depending upon age. It is also important that parents not only look at whether the child is refusing the nap (since this is a common behavioral issue). Some questions to ask yourself include:
- Are they getting enough sleep at night to make up for missing a nap?
- How do they seem when they skip a nap? If they have more difficulty solving problems and regulating their emotions on days they skip a nap, they might not be ready to give it up.
- Is the nap interfering with their nighttime sleep? If they have significant difficulty falling and staying asleep on days when they nap, it might be time to give up the nap.
If you aren't sure, continue to provide an opportunity for your child to nap. Napping has many cognitive benefits for children who still “need” it so make sure they have the opportunity. Similarly, if your child is still napping when others are telling you they are “too old,” they likely still need a nap so continue to give them opportunities to nap even if they seem “too old” for it.
Be flexible about naps. Most children drop the nap gradually so don’t see the nap as “all-or-nothing.” Your child may go through phases when they need a nap every other day or even when they just need a nap once per week. Allow them the opportunity to nap some days and not others.
Try a shorter or earlier nap if they seem to still “need”it but it is interfering with nighttime sleep. However, if napping seems to be interfering with nighttime sleep, consider adjusting your child to a shorter nap in the early afternoon
Your own attitudes matter. Research finds that parents who value napping and make napping a priority tend to have children who nap for longer. If you would like your child to keep napping for as long as possible, adjust your own attitudes around napping.
If your child consistently refuses to fall asleep, accept the transition and move on. Unfortunately as parents we cannot make our children fall asleep. We can give them opportunities to nap but whether or not they actually sleep is up to them. If your child consistently refuses to fall asleep and seems to be “fine” without a nap, you may want to accept that this transition even if it seems “too young.” If your child is still struggling with their mood or other aspects of functioning in the afternoon, move up their bedtime to see if that helps.
If your child drops a nap but you feel like they still need “quiet time,” the following tips may be helpful:
- Start small. Start with 5 minutes and work up to longer and longer time periods. Praise and reward your child each step along the way.
- Make your expectations very clear. Use a visual to help explain your expectations is possible. For example, a visual with choices can help your child if they struggle to choose activities or structure their time (see here for an example). A visual timer such as the Time Timer or the Hatch nightlight can help children to understand how much longer they have left for “quiet time.”
- Save special toys for quiet time. These toys should lend themselves well to independent play and be engaging for your child. Audiobook players such as the Tonie Box or Yoto player can be a great option for some children.
- Have a consistent routine so children know when quiet time begins and when it end. For example, go through a quicker version of the bedtime routine before “quiet time.”

Expert Reviewer

All Parenting Translator newsletters are reviewed by experts in the topic to make sure that they are as helpful and as accurate for parents as possible. Today’s newsletter was reviewed by Shelby Harris, PsyD, DBSM. Dr. Shelby Harris is a clinical psychologist and sleep specialist in private practice in NY. She is board certified in Behavioral Sleep Medicine and treats a wide variety of sleep, anxiety and depression issues using evidence-based, non-medication treatments. Her self-help book, The Women’s Guide to Overcoming Insomnia was published in 2019 by W.W. Norton Books. Dr. Harris holds an academic appointment as Clinical Associate Professor at the Einstein College of Medicine in Neurology and Psychiatry. Before going into private practice, she was the longstanding director of the Behavioral Sleep Medicine Program at Montefiore Medical Center in NYC. Dr. Harris has been an invited columnist for the New York Times “Consults Blog,” and is frequently in the media, including the New Yorker, Washington Post, Today Show, and Good Morning America. Dr. Harris can be found on Instagram at @SleepDocShelby where she provides evidence-based information about sleep wellness and sleep disorders.

Wondering how you can support Parenting Translator’s mission and/or express your gratitude for this service? It’s easy! All you have to do is share my newsletter with your friends and/or on your social media!

Share Parenting Translator

Thanks for reading the Parenting Translator newsletter! Subscribe for free to receive future newsletters and support my work.

Also please let me know any feedback you have or ideas for future newsletters!

Parenting Translator