Thank you for this wonderful article! As a parent who loves to travel with my kids, I truly appreciate the insights and practical tips shared. It's reassuring to know that the challenges we face while traveling with children are normal and that there are strategies to make the experience more enjoyable.
I recently went on a trip with my family, and I implemented some of the suggestions mentioned here. Following their interests and allowing downtime were game-changers for us. We discovered local playgrounds, which provided a much-needed break for my kids to let off steam. Picnics instead of eating out worked brilliantly, and we had fun exploring different parks while enjoying a meal together.
I also found the product recommendations extremely helpful. Miniature magnetic tiles and playdough kits kept my kids engaged during travel, and the portable white noise machine was a lifesaver for a peaceful sleep environment.
So glad you mentioned the confound in the correlational studies: parents who choose baby-led weaning are likely to be more educated/wealthier, which is associated with all kinds of things.
I also liked the comment about many parents not being purists and using a combination that works for them/their family. There are lots of ways to raise kids!
Another thing to keep in mind is that kids change. At one age a child might happily eat a variety of foods, a few months or a year later, they may turn picky, then later they might be more open to new foods.
Overall, the baby-led weaning seems very consistent with Ellyn Satter's approach to feeding older kids, which I find very sensible: https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/how-to-feed/ She emphasizes the division of responsibility: Parents decide what food to offer and when, and they try to make meals pleasant; kids decide what and how much of that food they want to eat. Patience and exposure help in getting kids to eat more varied foods. That's why Indian kids eat Indian food, and Chinese kids eat Chinese food, and Italian kids eat Italian food, etc.
One thing we know for sure is that stress and tension around eating/feeding makes both kids and parents miserable.
Hi Dr. Cara, I enjoyed the newsletter this week about redshirting. I’d like to suggest a newsletter about transitional kindergarten as well. In my state of California, they are gradually expanding access so that by 2025 children who turn 5 by April of the academic year can enroll in tk. My toddler would be eligible. However, I remember the state (Tennessee?) that was recently in the news for rolling out universal pre-kindergarten, and it backfired: the kids enrolled did worse in the long term, possibly because the program was too academic based and not play-based. What does the over all research say? Do tk programs tend to be play or academic based, or does it depend on the program? Does it help or hurt long term, especially compared to being at home? (Obviously socioeconomic factors regarding who can afford to keep their kids home will play a role I’m sure!)
My current 14 month old knows 9+ signs and uses them frequently to communicate with us her needs/wants and all of them came from ms Rachel and us interacting with her, doing the signs at the same time ms Rachel does, but also gestures and some signs that we’ve never worked with her on. So don’t say there’s absolutely nothing that children learn from baby educational videos hah
"research suggests that punishment (even non-physical punishment) is associated with more unkind behaviors in children."
I may very well have been reading the study wrong or misunderstood the comment, but wouldn't this correlation be explained by children who are more unkind needing behavior correction more often?
Thank you for sharing valuable research. Your suggestions are excellent. In addition to your strong ideas, I also read many books and took classes to learn new ways to talk and respond to my children.
Excellent and informative article thank you! I would encourage writers, researchers and readers to also consult with a speech-language pathologist before pursuing clipping a tongue tie if there are concerns with speech development. MANY speech sound errors are not impacted by a tongue tie and is important for parents to understand the developmental norms of the speech sounds and if a tongue tie is impacting those sounds before scheduling a procedure.
Thank you for this information! Before reading this article, I don't know if I would have made the connection. Now that I know, it makes perfect sense. Thank you!!
I enjoyed reading your article on Gentle Parenting. I am fairly new to Substack and, like you, I write about parenting. My latest book is called Parenting with Kindness and Consequences. From the title, you will know that I agree, that, although gentle parenting works for many parents, logical consequences definitely balance the equation. When possible, natural consequences have advantages over logical consequences. As you stated, life always has consequences. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Can you do a post on how to handle picky toddlers? My 2.5-year-old will literally only eat gogo squeeze yogurt. She won’t even eat cookies or fresh fruit, or anything else, only yogurt. It’s been several months. Occasionally we can get her to eat cheese or a couple of pieces of cereal, but that’s it. I’m getting a little worried.
Love this debunking! The birth order one seems especially resistant to debunking–probably because everyone knows someone who fits the characteristics of the stereotypes. The other thing that's important to understand about birth order studies is that they're usually not longitudinal. In other words, they're not comparing say a first born at 3 yo and a second born at 3 yo. They compare a first born at 5 yo to a second born at 3 yo, and, guess what, they're different!
I used to wake my kids from a nap to make sure they didn't sleep past 4 pm. It was ugly, but necessary for them to get decent sleep at night.
I watched Bugs, Elmer, Daffy, RR and all the cartoons of the 50’s and 60’s but I never felt the urge to blast a pesky wabbit. The prefrontal cortex isn’t considered adult until 20’s and parents transitioning kindergartners should never have had children and should be jailed for child abused. What has happened to this generation is beyond horrifying!
I would like to suggest a post on any evidence on why a sibling or siblings would be beneficial for a child . Also, to present both sides- is there any evidence or data to show if it’s beneficial to be an only child? I totally understand the childless by Choice, one and done by choice and also one and done not by choice - I am not trying to make anyone feel bad here. Honestly interested in the evidence, no matter what it says.
When my kids were little and they were climbing up playground equipment I was tell them, "Careful and confident." I wanted to instill both in them. If I were to do it now instead of "careful" I might say, "with care and confidence."
Thank you for this! There is many myths out there regarding swimming and I like the evidence and research you used to debunk them!
I also liked how you included puddle jumpers! They are not "Bad" as the media makes them out to be but just not a substitution for parental supervision!
Thank you for this wonderful article! As a parent who loves to travel with my kids, I truly appreciate the insights and practical tips shared. It's reassuring to know that the challenges we face while traveling with children are normal and that there are strategies to make the experience more enjoyable.
I recently went on a trip with my family, and I implemented some of the suggestions mentioned here. Following their interests and allowing downtime were game-changers for us. We discovered local playgrounds, which provided a much-needed break for my kids to let off steam. Picnics instead of eating out worked brilliantly, and we had fun exploring different parks while enjoying a meal together.
I also found the product recommendations extremely helpful. Miniature magnetic tiles and playdough kits kept my kids engaged during travel, and the portable white noise machine was a lifesaver for a peaceful sleep environment.
So glad you mentioned the confound in the correlational studies: parents who choose baby-led weaning are likely to be more educated/wealthier, which is associated with all kinds of things.
I also liked the comment about many parents not being purists and using a combination that works for them/their family. There are lots of ways to raise kids!
Another thing to keep in mind is that kids change. At one age a child might happily eat a variety of foods, a few months or a year later, they may turn picky, then later they might be more open to new foods.
Overall, the baby-led weaning seems very consistent with Ellyn Satter's approach to feeding older kids, which I find very sensible: https://www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/how-to-feed/ She emphasizes the division of responsibility: Parents decide what food to offer and when, and they try to make meals pleasant; kids decide what and how much of that food they want to eat. Patience and exposure help in getting kids to eat more varied foods. That's why Indian kids eat Indian food, and Chinese kids eat Chinese food, and Italian kids eat Italian food, etc.
One thing we know for sure is that stress and tension around eating/feeding makes both kids and parents miserable.
Hi Dr. Cara, I enjoyed the newsletter this week about redshirting. I’d like to suggest a newsletter about transitional kindergarten as well. In my state of California, they are gradually expanding access so that by 2025 children who turn 5 by April of the academic year can enroll in tk. My toddler would be eligible. However, I remember the state (Tennessee?) that was recently in the news for rolling out universal pre-kindergarten, and it backfired: the kids enrolled did worse in the long term, possibly because the program was too academic based and not play-based. What does the over all research say? Do tk programs tend to be play or academic based, or does it depend on the program? Does it help or hurt long term, especially compared to being at home? (Obviously socioeconomic factors regarding who can afford to keep their kids home will play a role I’m sure!)
My current 14 month old knows 9+ signs and uses them frequently to communicate with us her needs/wants and all of them came from ms Rachel and us interacting with her, doing the signs at the same time ms Rachel does, but also gestures and some signs that we’ve never worked with her on. So don’t say there’s absolutely nothing that children learn from baby educational videos hah
"research suggests that punishment (even non-physical punishment) is associated with more unkind behaviors in children."
I may very well have been reading the study wrong or misunderstood the comment, but wouldn't this correlation be explained by children who are more unkind needing behavior correction more often?
Thank you for sharing valuable research. Your suggestions are excellent. In addition to your strong ideas, I also read many books and took classes to learn new ways to talk and respond to my children.
Excellent and informative article thank you! I would encourage writers, researchers and readers to also consult with a speech-language pathologist before pursuing clipping a tongue tie if there are concerns with speech development. MANY speech sound errors are not impacted by a tongue tie and is important for parents to understand the developmental norms of the speech sounds and if a tongue tie is impacting those sounds before scheduling a procedure.
Thank you for this information! Before reading this article, I don't know if I would have made the connection. Now that I know, it makes perfect sense. Thank you!!
I enjoyed reading your article on Gentle Parenting. I am fairly new to Substack and, like you, I write about parenting. My latest book is called Parenting with Kindness and Consequences. From the title, you will know that I agree, that, although gentle parenting works for many parents, logical consequences definitely balance the equation. When possible, natural consequences have advantages over logical consequences. As you stated, life always has consequences. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
Can you do a post on how to handle picky toddlers? My 2.5-year-old will literally only eat gogo squeeze yogurt. She won’t even eat cookies or fresh fruit, or anything else, only yogurt. It’s been several months. Occasionally we can get her to eat cheese or a couple of pieces of cereal, but that’s it. I’m getting a little worried.
Love this debunking! The birth order one seems especially resistant to debunking–probably because everyone knows someone who fits the characteristics of the stereotypes. The other thing that's important to understand about birth order studies is that they're usually not longitudinal. In other words, they're not comparing say a first born at 3 yo and a second born at 3 yo. They compare a first born at 5 yo to a second born at 3 yo, and, guess what, they're different!
I used to wake my kids from a nap to make sure they didn't sleep past 4 pm. It was ugly, but necessary for them to get decent sleep at night.
I watched Bugs, Elmer, Daffy, RR and all the cartoons of the 50’s and 60’s but I never felt the urge to blast a pesky wabbit. The prefrontal cortex isn’t considered adult until 20’s and parents transitioning kindergartners should never have had children and should be jailed for child abused. What has happened to this generation is beyond horrifying!
I would like to suggest a post on any evidence on why a sibling or siblings would be beneficial for a child . Also, to present both sides- is there any evidence or data to show if it’s beneficial to be an only child? I totally understand the childless by Choice, one and done by choice and also one and done not by choice - I am not trying to make anyone feel bad here. Honestly interested in the evidence, no matter what it says.
When my kids were little and they were climbing up playground equipment I was tell them, "Careful and confident." I wanted to instill both in them. If I were to do it now instead of "careful" I might say, "with care and confidence."
Thank you for this! There is many myths out there regarding swimming and I like the evidence and research you used to debunk them!
I also liked how you included puddle jumpers! They are not "Bad" as the media makes them out to be but just not a substitution for parental supervision!
Thank you!
Dr. Florencia Segura