The Research Behind Why Your Child Won't Wear a Coat
Why your child refuses to wear appropriate winter clothing and what you can do about it
Source: Pixabay/Pexels
The war between parents and kids over wearing coats seems to be universal. It could be below freezing, pouring down rain, or even snowing and, yet, as I drive up to my children’s school every morning, I see kids wearing nothing but shorts and short-sleeved shirts. Every morning, I am struck with the realization that the same debate over winter clothing is happening in every house. It seems nonsensical to us parents— why are kids so resistant to dressing appropriately for the weather?! And what can we do about it?
Why do children refuse coats (and hats, mittens, pants, long-sleeved shirts— basically any clothing that is appropriate for cold weather)?
First, there is a real research-based explanation for why children have a higher tolerance for cold. Research finds that children have proportionally higher levels of something called brown adipose tissue (or “brown fat”) which is a type of fat that burns energy to create heat. In fact, brown fat produces 300 times as much heat as any other tissue in the body. Research finds that brown fat is particularly important for infants since they lose heat from their bodies more quickly than older children and adults and they do not have the ability to shiver yet (which might seem irrelevant but is actually a very important way to generate heat).
Brown fat is often contrasted with white adipose tissue (“white fat”) which is what we typically think about when we think about fat. White fat also provides some extra insulation but does not generate heat in the same way. Interestingly, while more white fat means a greater risk for obesity, research actually links more brown fat in adults to a lower risk for obesity.
It is also possible that your child spending more time outside results in even more brown fat. Research has found that laborers in Finland who work outside have more brown fat than Finnish office workers. Another study found that sleeping in colder temperatures (66 degrees in this study) resulted in more brown fat (interesting aside: the researchers also found that sleeping in this colder temperature increased metabolism).
Another reason your child may refuse their coat is because they are trying to exert some control over their environment. Children have so little autonomy in their lives and insisting that they choose what they put on their body may be an area in which they see an opportunity to take back some control. The more you push the issue, the more they may dig in their heels. This power struggle may be made worse by peers who are also refusing their coats.
Finally, some children may refuse coats due to sensory sensitivities that make the weight or sensation of a coat feel aversive. It may seem to you that they making it up or just trying to be difficult but research finds that some children are just more sensitive to sensory input and this sensitivity may cause disruptions to everyday life.
So What Can You Do?
How you respond to your child not wearing a coat may depend on why your child is refusing the coat. So, first try to determine if their refusal is due to a higher cold tolerance, a need for autonomy, peer pressure, sensory sensitivity, or a combination of several of these factors?
If their refusal is related to a higher tolerance for cold, try to let them experience the natural consequences of their choice (within reason of course). Natural consequences refer to letting your child experience the consequences that would naturally occur as a result of their choices. In this case, the natural consequence of not wearing a coat is that they will feel cold and uncomfortable. Research finds that natural consequences are one of the most effective parenting approaches. This approach teaches kids to take responsibility for their own choices and to learn how to make the right choices without your input (which is the ultimate goal of parenting). Despite what your grandmother may have told you, not wearing a coat will not increase your child’s risk for illness. However, hypothermia and frostbite are real concerns so I would suggest choosing a temperature (such as 40 degrees) at which point your child has to wear a coat, long pants, or other appropriate winter clothing. Consult with your pediatrician about any concerns you have related to safety.
If their refusal is related to a need for autonomy, try to prevent this power struggle by giving them more choice in their lives. For example, let them choose what kind of coat you buy at the start of the season, what clothes they wear under the coat, or what song you listen to on the way to school. You can also give them choice while still setting some boundaries by letting them choose whether or not to wear the coat but insisting that they bring it with them in their backpack. They may be more willing to put their coat on at school when you are not there to say “I told you so.”
If the reason is related to sensory sensitivity, acknowledge their sensory sensitivity but also try to reach a compromise and find a coat that is a lesser evil for them. For example, do they prefer down jackets or fleece? Is it better with a hood or no hood? Would they prefer to wear a vest or a coat? If they are refusing long pants or shirts, would they wear some very comfortable long underwear under their shorts or shirt?
Overall Translation
Children may refuse to wear coats and other appropriate winter clothing for many reasons including a higher tolerance for cold, a need for autonomy, and sensory issues. Your response as a parent may vary according to why they are refusing the coat. However, your response is likely to involve some compromise and some acceptance that you will feel cold just looking at them.
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Welcome to the Parenting Translator newsletter! I am Dr. Cara Goodwin, a licensed psychologist with a PhD in child psychology and mother to four children (currently a 1-year-old, 4-year-old, 6-year-old, and 9-year-old). I specialize in taking all of the research that is out there related to parenting and child development and turning it into information that is accurate, relevant, and useful for parents! I recently turned these efforts into a non-profit organization since I believe that all parents deserve access to unbiased and free information. This means that I am only here to help YOU as a parent so please send along any feedback, topic suggestions, or questions that you have! You can also find me on Instagram @parentingtranslator, on TikTok @parentingtranslator, and my website (www.parentingtranslator.com).
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