Teasing out the emotional load really resonated with me. I feel like so many women I know with kids and families carry that burden with them and it is definitely a very depleting burden. I think that emotionally exhausts most of us and depletes us of our own energy and this in turn impacts how much more laborious everything else becomes (although I will die on the hill that there needs to be MUCH more equitable division of labor in heterosexual relationships/families).
I totally agree and in my partnership, this feels like the only thing I can't outsource. My husband is pretty good about typical household chores (both execution and planning) and I feel like "tasks" are fairly equitable. But when it comes to nurturing/managing emotions/caring actions/concern over emotional wellbeing, I don't know that he has the capacity to do this. He's a kind person but not nurturing, and I'm not sure how to have him cultivate that skill set. I'm not sure I'm even willing to take on the ADDITIONAL MENTAL LOAD to impart the importance of this or why it's so hard for me to be the only one our kids turn to for this kind of support!
Teasing out the emotional load really resonated with me. I feel like so many women I know with kids and families carry that burden with them and it is definitely a very depleting burden. I think that emotionally exhausts most of us and depletes us of our own energy and this in turn impacts how much more laborious everything else becomes (although I will die on the hill that there needs to be MUCH more equitable division of labor in heterosexual relationships/families).
Yes I agree!
I totally agree and in my partnership, this feels like the only thing I can't outsource. My husband is pretty good about typical household chores (both execution and planning) and I feel like "tasks" are fairly equitable. But when it comes to nurturing/managing emotions/caring actions/concern over emotional wellbeing, I don't know that he has the capacity to do this. He's a kind person but not nurturing, and I'm not sure how to have him cultivate that skill set. I'm not sure I'm even willing to take on the ADDITIONAL MENTAL LOAD to impart the importance of this or why it's so hard for me to be the only one our kids turn to for this kind of support!
I keep learning and growing thanks to the mental load of parenting!
Of course, there were many burn-out moments, but then again, those moments helped me construct the balance between self-care and "powering-through."
It also took me and my spouse a LONG time and A LOT OF painful discussions to tackle the deeply-rooted gender norms/roles.
Parenting is blood, sweat, and tears, literally!