This is very interesting. I do wonder if the cohesiveness itself begets more cohesiveness, as well, leading to positive outcomes. I.e., if mom and dad are more aligned and not in conflict, I would imagine that makes it easier to enforce rules and convey values to all family members consistently from day to day, which would make it harder for one child to feel they’re getting parented in a markedly different way than another, or like there’s a scarcity of love for which they have to compete. I also wonder if strong sibling bonds themselves, in the study or in other contexts, can have the effect of creating cohesion. (As a child of divorce with a late sibling I adored, we had to create the cohesiveness between us while our parents battled it out. I would not recommend that approach to fostering closeness but I’m grateful for the protective effects it had!)
Amazing points! It's always so helpful to have specific actionable steps. I'm so interested in the father-specific finding also. I wonder why that is...
Great article! It is so fascinating to hear about this research because it truly is such contextual and individual concept. I have 3 siblings, and we do get treated differently at times, but somehow, we have managed to grow a very strong bond over the years. Thank you for this research!
I find it so interesting that fathers were called out specifically because, anecdotally, I have heard from friends how certain rules were different for each kid (often delineated by the gender of the child). Very fascinating!
Funnily enough, I’m currently reading “Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings” by Dr. Laura Markham and many of the same themes are emerging in that book as well.
Hi, Dr. Goodwin! Are there studies investigating how growing up with an older sibling with a disability affects a younger sibling’s development? I work as an early interventionist, and sometimes parents will share they feel like their older child’s diagnosis affected their younger child’s language development because their child is around a sibling who is nonspeaking, has challenging behaviors, etc.
This is very interesting. I do wonder if the cohesiveness itself begets more cohesiveness, as well, leading to positive outcomes. I.e., if mom and dad are more aligned and not in conflict, I would imagine that makes it easier to enforce rules and convey values to all family members consistently from day to day, which would make it harder for one child to feel they’re getting parented in a markedly different way than another, or like there’s a scarcity of love for which they have to compete. I also wonder if strong sibling bonds themselves, in the study or in other contexts, can have the effect of creating cohesion. (As a child of divorce with a late sibling I adored, we had to create the cohesiveness between us while our parents battled it out. I would not recommend that approach to fostering closeness but I’m grateful for the protective effects it had!)
Ryan,
Thank you for bringing up these points. I do think that cohesiveness begets cohesiveness for both couples and children
Amazing points! It's always so helpful to have specific actionable steps. I'm so interested in the father-specific finding also. I wonder why that is...
As we have more research on fathers and partners, it will be interesting to dig more into these findings.
Great article! It is so fascinating to hear about this research because it truly is such contextual and individual concept. I have 3 siblings, and we do get treated differently at times, but somehow, we have managed to grow a very strong bond over the years. Thank you for this research!
I like this contextual and individualized viewpoint of the research as well. I am also interested to see how it looks different across cultures.
I find it so interesting that fathers were called out specifically because, anecdotally, I have heard from friends how certain rules were different for each kid (often delineated by the gender of the child). Very fascinating!
Funnily enough, I’m currently reading “Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings” by Dr. Laura Markham and many of the same themes are emerging in that book as well.
Thank you, as always, for sharing!
I must add that to my reading list. You always recommend the best books!
Thank you for the kind words! ❤️
Hi, Dr. Goodwin! Are there studies investigating how growing up with an older sibling with a disability affects a younger sibling’s development? I work as an early interventionist, and sometimes parents will share they feel like their older child’s diagnosis affected their younger child’s language development because their child is around a sibling who is nonspeaking, has challenging behaviors, etc.
Grace, There are a number of small studies looking at sibling pairs with disabilities. Let me add that to my topic list to dig into more.