How Science Can Alleviate (Some) of the Stress of Parenting

Dr. Aliza Pressman of the Raising Good Humans podcast on the Five Core Principles of Parenting

Dr. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist with almost 20 years of experience working with families and the healthcare providers who support them.  She hosts the Raising Good Humans podcast and authors the Raising Good Humans newsletter on Substack.  Yesterday she released her first book, The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide for Raising Good Humans. I was absolutely honored to interview her about the book, why the five principles are so important, how we raise resilient kids, the role of social media in parenting, and her own challenges as a mother.

Photo by Kenny Krosky on Unsplash

You can listen to the interview through the link below or read the transcript of the interview in this newsletter:

Dr. Cara Goodwin: I'm Dr. Cara Goodwin and welcome to the Parenting Translator newsletter and podcast. I am beyond excited today because I have Dr. Aliza Pressman on the podcast. I feel like everybody listening probably already knows who you are because you're one of the top parenting experts in the world, but just to give a tiny bit of background, you're a developmental psychologist who runs the Mount Sinai Parenting Center in New York and you also host the incredibly popular parenting podcast, Raising Good Humans. Dr. Aliza, could you please introduce yourself and tell my audience a little bit about the work that you do for parents and why you do it?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: I am the co-founding director of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center. That's work that I do that is nonprofit and more academic. We focus on creating and teaching healthcare providers about child development and parenting and integrating it into the healthcare system. That's a national program and it's really cool, but I think it's a funny name for a center because it sounds like we directly work with parents and actually we're working with the people who most have access to parents. I also teach residents and all that fun stuff in pediatrics. Last, I work with parents in my private practice, mostly in mom groups. That's more community-oriented. There are groups that have been going on, some of them for 15 years and some of them for one year. 

I have a podcast called Raising Good Humans and now a book. Basically, they're all just different ways to reach families to try to make life a little bit easier using evidence, which I know is something that you're so vigilant about. It's such a huge problem right now when there isn't the thoughtful use of science. Not just misinformation, but I also think that it's a bummer that sometimes even science is used against us because it's not remotely relevant to the context that an individual might be in. I think translating science is something that we both feel pretty strongly about. I think it helps give enough information that there's guidance, but not so much that there's rigidity and stress.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: I couldn't agree with you more. I think about that all the time — how do we get the research out there, but also not make it feel like it's a mandate on parents. I love how you are equally as into the research as I am, which is extremely into it. I'd love to hear from your perspective and your extensive reading of the research on child development, what are some ways that understanding the research can actually help make parenting a little bit easier? I think that's your goal and that's one of my goals. How can we actually use all this pretty complicated information that's out there to make parenting easier and better?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: I think that part of the reason why I wrote The Five Principles of Parenting was to boil the science down to the five core principles and think about how we can think about the aspects of science together. It's not like I invented any of this stuff. It's so funny when you hear people talking about revolutionizing parenting or new movements and everything. There's so much science that we can call on. It's just a matter of translating it. I think it can make life easier for parents when you boil it down to the really important stuff that actually moves the needle that you have control over. So, so much of the science is interesting, but there's nothing you can do about it. It feels like, do we really need to fixate on certain things that you're not going to be able to do anything about? Or can we make our lives easier by having the freedom to let go of a lot of things that are just never going to be in our control and have a small number of things that are in our control that are shown to make a difference in child outcomes and parent outcomes? 

That's where I think science can actually alleviate a lot of the stress. For me, the procedural stuff, when people talk about anything procedural related to attachment, I'm like, why are we burdening parents with nonsense like this? If it's helpful for you to feed in a particular way or it's helpful for you to sleep in a particular way, Godspeed. But it's not going to be associated with different kinds of attachment. Why are we trying to take too much science and make it more important than it is? I think that's where I land — take what's important that you actually can control and a little bit of what you can't to give you a framework. Like temperament you can't control it, but we should know about it because it can help us understand what's going on with our kids and ourselves. Then I think it's easier. To me, there's a freedom there to make choices about your parenting. Using science to feel confident in those choices seems like a win. Then also looking at the science to see that the science backs up more often than not is a “good enough” framework, not a perfect framework, to me is also very unburdening.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: I think that's so helpful for parents to know. There are no research studies showing that you have to do this perfectly a hundred percent of the time. In fact, if anything, there's research showing that you can make mistakes and this is so good for your kids. I'm so curious, as somebody who is as into the research as I am, as a parent yourself or with the families you've worked with, have you ever advised or gone against the research yourself? And why have you made that decision?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: I think I do it every day. Because we're not robots and because sometimes you have to use the research to feel confident in your own intuition. But in being attuned to what's going on, you may decide there's something about this that doesn't feel good. So to me, it is still scientific. I'm not going against all the research, but the research is so contradictory. You have to choose what matters to you. For example, when I see people saying that using rewards for behavior doesn't work. I'm like, that's not actually true. It's just not going to work if your values are not about compliance. It can totally work for compliance. So, we have to decide, my jam is not having a super compliant kid, so I'm not going to do a ton of rewards. But then I know there are times when I'm going to use positive reinforcement. It's behavior modification. I just need this to work in the short term and this is what I'm doing. There are moments when I feel intrinsically that science is in contrast to what I'm doing, but this is what my need is right now. I go against some of the science sometimes to serve some of the other science. Then there are just days when I'm like, I don't care. This is what's happening. I think the freedom that you get from knowing the really important stuff that matters is that you can let go of rejecting some of the “right” ways of parenting that moment or that day because you know that on balance, you're totally good.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: I love that. I think it's so important to think about what are my overarching values as a parent and also what are my needs at this moment. It's okay to make changes based on real life. For example, if you’ve got to leave for school in the next five minutes or they're going to be late, it may not look as beautiful as if you had two hours. I think it would help everybody to hear about your new book that's called The Five Principles of Parenting. Could you explain what these five principles are and why you think it’s important learning about these five principles?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: It's so fun to talk to you about it because I'm so curious what you think. I tried to boil down what we know about parenting research and child development into something that we could have in our arsenal that feels doable. If you lean into these five core principles— 1) Relationship, 2) Reflection, 3) Regulation, 4) Rules, and 5) Repair, then you have your best shot at leaning on those whenever you need to make a decision. If you do, chances are you're doing great. You're doing well enough. I tried to make the first half of the book, the science of these five principles, how I got to them and then translate them into how that might impact your everyday decisions and challenges from infancy through adolescence. What I wanted everybody to feel like was there were five principles that were in their control and if you can check-in on those principles then you have a North Star for what is considered, I hate this phrase, “best practices.” It gives you check-ins. 

First relationship (I just used R’s because it's easy to remember and because it's a pathway to resilience). There are so many different ways to say relationship— connection, responsiveness, sensitivity of care. Anything that you hear out there in the zeitgeist of parenting is probably going into the bucket of relationship. And so that's the first and most important thing. 

Then Reflection, you could also say mindfulness. You could also say presence. You could also say checking in with yourself, making sure you've come to terms with your past so that you're not bringing it into your present. And helping your kids learn about being reflective and taking that pause that's sort of the space between reactivity and making an intentional decision that gives you the freedom for Regulation, which is the third principle. Self-regulation is obviously one of the key things that we need to have in life, but you can't have it completely down until you're fully developed because it's housed in your prefrontal cortex and that doesn't develop until we're in our 18 to late 20s, maybe even 30. I feel like it gets later and later every year! We have co-regulation where we help our young people. You're co-regulating right now with your baby and so they borrow our nervous system. I just think that is the most beautiful thing in the world. It had to make it into the core principles because if you're in a relationship and you're being reflective, you are available to regulate. If your child isn't, you're available to be present and help them borrow some of your nervous system. I think it can be less satisfying from moment to moment, but incredibly satisfying over time. 

Rules are just our word for boundaries and limit setting. We know that that's super important. But sometimes, especially right now in the culture of parenting, we lose in the service of sensitive caregiving and relationships. We forget about boundaries and limit settings. I knew that that needed to be highlighted in these five principles because otherwise I could see a world where parents are really in the relationship and really attuned, but think that that means that if their child is in distress, they shouldn't hold their limits and have certain expectations and give them the safety of boundaries. 

Repair because it's at the heart of everything. Developmental science is the idea of rupture and repair as part of strengthening relationships. All that research started with mothers and babies. It's beautiful and you're living it right now. A third of the time there's like the beautiful dance that you hear about. The rest of the time it's rupture and repair. It's that the repair isn't just a nice thing to have when things go south, but it's actually imperative for healthy development. So if you had the choice between a beautiful dance where you're not stepping on each other's toes and some missteps where you find out that you can get back to the music, you would choose the one with the missteps so you can get back to the music and do better and better and have confidence that you're able to bounce back than if there was never any problem to begin with. So I love to repair. 

Those were the five core principles— principles that are in our control as parents, because we can't control our kids— I thought most highly linked with resilience and resilience of the parent too. I also felt like it really captures the big science of child development. And again, none of it's mine. I framed it in this one particular way, but this is our field and it is really beautiful and robust and we don't know everything. There's a lot missing, but this was the stuff that feels like, this is decades of research. This is really relevant to across cultures and communities and it's actionable. So let me make it easier for people. I did want this to be kind of an overarching book that you could grab and you don't have to read it one time, but depending on your child's age or what's going on, you might check in again. And eventually have sort of a fluency in thinking about this and how it applies to each situation so that you don't need any of the support systems that we've all put into place though it's great to have them.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: I totally agree that these underlying principles are not just one study that suggests repair is important, there's this consistent research that shows us these principles are so important for raising a happy, healthy child or raising good humans, as you would say. Speaking of that, I love how you talk about this goal of raising good humans rather than I want to raise a really smart student who gets all A's or I want to raise an obedient kid who always listens to me. Instead, how do we actually raise the next generation of good humans? So can you tell us how you choose to focus on raising good humans, what that actually means and how does science inform that? How do we raise nice, generous kids who are giving back to the world rather than taking from it?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: It's interesting the way you just described a good human because one of the things that I talk about in the book and I really feel like I don't emphasize enough, but I should, is that each of us has our own definition of good human. Clearly for you and for me too, it's very obvious. It's a kind, empathetic human who contributes to the world and has purpose. But for some people, it might be something completely different. I think the key is the intention to name what you're setting out to do and what are you hoping to figure out. What are my family values? What is my child like? What is their temperament? What gets them going? What gets me going? 

I feel like we all know what a good human is, but if you ask each individual, it's probably going to have a slightly different definition. So I think that the science goes back to those five core principles to help you get there. The rest is up to the temperament of the kids. And how we move through the world. I do think that there's room for so many different definitions of what a good human is. We are better served and more likely to get there if we define it for ourselves, if we just take a moment and it can change and it can be dynamic and all of those things. But it's really interesting to have kind of a sense of what does that mean to you? Because it just helps us figure out what really matters to us so that we can focus on that and then we can put the other stuff to the side. 

Some people might say part of being a good human is being really well-educated. The straight A's aren't what matters, but education matters to me and I'm going to put that in my mission in raising a good human, But then be aware of it and make sure that you're explaining that to your child versus getting straight A's. Or maybe you're like, no, I mean straight A's because I think they'll have more of a chance at being contributors to the world if they go to this college and have this conscientiousness. I think there are many ways to define it, but knowing how you define it is super important.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: Yes, I totally agree. Thinking through how consciously as a parent, what is a good human? What is the end goal here? I know for myself and a lot of parents, part of raising a good human is raising a resilient person, a resilient child, a resilient adult. I think we all are thinking a lot about resilience right now. We live in this crazy, unpredictable world. How do we raise resilient kids? You talk about the research on resilience from World War II, which I just think is fascinating. Could you talk a little bit about that and why resilience matters and how we encourage it?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: Two things about resilience that I just think are incredible. Part of that is when the first resilience researchers were looking at war-torn kids and how they turn out okay and which ones do and which ones don't, one feature was having an adult caregiver who is sensitive and highly attuned and those five R's. Actually it can make it so that that level of toxic stress moves to tolerable stress. Tolerable stress means that your brain is not bathed in stress hormones chronically. You get to come down from that stress response and learn and be open and have a chance, have a shot at living a thriving life despite adversity. Whereas toxic stress in the absence of, it's stress in the absence of coming down from it. And it's stressful in the absence of having a loving, supportive caregiver. So to me, that is so heartening because it's hopeful, it's free.

Again, not all the time. We're talking about a good enough parent. We're not talking about all the time heavily attuned. Also, we're talking about stress that's at a level that is chronic, meaning it's not a moment that you then come down from and move along. It's not because you had to give up a pacifier. It's not because you didn't get the blue cup and you wanted it so badly and you got a red cup. It's not because you had to finish the soccer game and lose. It goes into deep, deep kinds of chronic, terrible stressors that we can bounce back from in the presence of having that adult caregiver. 

The other thing I think that's super important about resilience research is it's not a quality. You're not like a person who is resilient. The idea that you would be resilient or not removes the major factors that I do go into in the book. It's all Ann Masten’s research on resilience, and there are so many beautiful researchers that have looked at resilience and none of them say that you can be or not be resilient because there are factors that are not related to the individual. There is one part of it that is related to the individual. There's one part of it that's related to the caregiver. Then there's a host of things that are related to socioeconomic status and political climate and poverty and racial inequity. Since we can't do anything about those, I mean, you can, as a way of life, be somebody who fights for justice. But day-to-day, we have control over our parenting and those five core principles we know are highly linked with resilience. Then there are skills that you can build in your kids that are highly linked with resilience. Those also feel doable because they're gratitude, autonomy, motivation, empathy, and self-regulation and those are buildable skills. When you combine that with your parenting, you have a kid who is way more likely to be resilient in the face of setbacks like trauma and adversity.

The only other thing I will say is we need stress to build resilience. So the positive stressors, those moments, like not getting a part in a play, or not getting the pacifier, those are positive stressors that are actually really important to build resilience. You don't even need a nice parent to build resilience. You just have to have those stressors and come back from them. So that's why I wouldn't want anybody to confuse toxic stress with positive stress. We don't want a stress-free existence.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: Yes. So our goal as parents is not to remove stress from our kids' lives. I think that's such an important point because we don't want our kids stressed out, but I think it's so important to remember that facing small amounts of stress with a loving caregiver, like you said, that's what builds resilience, not removing all sources of stress from our kids' life before they even have the chance to encounter them. I recently read an article that you wrote that I loved that was called, “ Perfect Parenting Is the Enemy of Good Parenting”. Can you talk a little bit about that and explain why we want to normalize not being perfect parents?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: What I really wanted to call it, because I put this chapter in my book, but it got rejected, was, “Perfect Parenting is the Enemy of Perfect Parenting”. But the publishers said that's not really going to resonate. I landed on “Perfect Parenting is the Enemy of Good Parenting,” because the idea that we could be perfect, first of all, is ridiculous. But second of all, the burden that it would place on our kids to imagine a world where they're supposed to be perfect because this person, their hero, their parent, their primary caregiver is perfect or presents as perfect to them. Then you grow up and who wants to be that grown up? That grown up is so insecure and feeling so less than because they were not able to be as amazing as their parents. When they make mistakes, they feel like, what's wrong with me? That wasn't supposed to be in the cards.

So I think that the best kind of parenting is the kind of parenting that has enough mistakes that kids get to learn that we bounce back from mistakes, we repair, and we move on. If you were perfect, which we couldn't be anyway, but if you were even aiming for perfect, you'd be robbing your child of the deep, deep belief of their worthiness because how could they ever live up to you? And I don't mean to say that in a scary way so much as a way to motivate parents to be a little bit messier.

Dr, Cara Goodwin: Yes, I think that's so important to remember that it's not only impossible to be perfect, but even if we could be, that's not what's best for our kids. So speaking of not being perfect, you talk a lot about how we as parents are growing up with our kids. I've definitely experienced that on my fourth child right now. And it's still happening. I'm realizing things from my childhood that haven't been resolved. I'm still learning things about myself and how to cope with my own emotions. And it's hard. So how do we handle growing up ourselves and making mistakes while also trying to be an effective parent and juggling all the different demands we have in our lives? How do we manage all of this and stay sane?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: I don't have four kids. For the juggling part and the managing part, I'm hoping that the more kids you have, the more grace you give yourself. My hope is that we treat ourselves well because we're growing alongside our kids, because we're born as parents when our kids are born. I'm hoping we give ourselves the grace that we give our kids as they're developing, which is to say, how would I respond when my child makes a mistake like this because they just learned how to do this? I'm just learning how to respond to a very upset kid, or I'm just learning how to respond to my child's distress when their need isn't met. Or I'm just learning how to respond when I have three other kids and a job and a partner. And the milk was just spilled. How could you possibly expect of yourself that you would know everything if you were a growing and developing person? 

I want us to think of our parenthood as growing truly alongside. We're brand new parents when we have our first babies and you're a brand new parent of a fourth baby. It's a different experience. It's certainly a different one than I have had. So it also means that I need to recognize that I have a different growth trajectory than you have, and that my experience can't be what your experience is. I can learn from you and I can hear you and try to understand you, but I can't tell you what your experience is. When we imagine that we're treating ourselves and using a voice with ourselves that we would use with a child, not in a patronizing way, but in that way of “I'm here for you” or “this was a mistake” or “that's because you're new at this.” That's a much softer voice than the voice mothers typically have in their head.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: Yes, I think that is so true. I remind myself all the time because even though this is my fourth kid, I think “Well, I've never had an eight-year-old, a five-year-old, a three-year-old, and a baby before? This is new. Every day is new. Every day is a new challenge.” I think that's so important to remember that we are all just kind of learning on the job. We haven't achieved some level where we're just the best parents we're going to be. We're all learning as we go.

Something else you talk about is there is no right way to parent. And I think that's so important because a lot of times when I'm on social media I see there's a certain script that you have to say in exactly this way, or if you don't say it in exactly this way, you are harming your child. So how do you reassure parents who are seeing this information that there is not only one right way to parent, and if you don't do it in exactly this way, you have irreparably harmed your child and it's too late?

Dr. Aliza Pressman:  I'm sure we both have the same reactions because it does not map to science. If you say this, you're going to have a kid who's codependent or you're going to have a kid with an anxiety disorder. You're going to have a kid who hates you or whatever. First of all, It's a moment. Second of all, there is no right way. It goes back to that there are a few core things that we know are better than others. When you speak you decide what is important and what you decide to emphasize and how you express it, what kind of voice you have, what words you use is none of our business. 

There are many beautiful things about social media. We're both on social media. Like there are ways to get information out there, but it's not the whole story because there's a limited time. It's more appealing when you say something extreme. It just is. People look at it more, people comment more, people have more opinions, and then it gets more out there and then you grow your audience bigger. So there's an incentive to do things like that. There's an incentive to have a quick script that's under 30 seconds and now you're going to make it so that your child never tantrums. These are ways to get interest. But it's super important to have some sense of your own self belief that you have the right way, that there are going to be, there's certain voices that are helpful to you, turn them up and use them as needed and certain voices that make you feel less than, and you should turn those right off. Even if they're one of ours, I think we probably both would, I will speak for me only, but I would rather people shut me out.

Early in my career, because I lived in New York City, I often bumped into clients and a lot of times they would say things like, I'm so sorry, I know I shouldn't be, I don't know, fill in the blank. Like having my baby out at night with a pacifier in their mouth, walking around the restaurant or whatever it is. I was like: “If I'm making you feel that way because I gave you some ideas about how you might have an easier time with sleep. That's a me problem, not a you problem.” I'm here to serve and to give guidance and support and sometimes just say, by the way, that doesn't matter at all. It just might make your day easier. But if it's at all making you feel like I'm a crappy parent, like “I didn't use that script today.” It's not the right way for you. It might be awesome for someone else. And I think social media kind of amplifies that. And we're always looking for like hacks, but There's no hack for being a person.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: Yes. I completely agree. If there is an account, even if it's mine, that's making you feel bad, unfollow, mute, whatever it is you have to do because we have to find the sources of information that resonate with us as a parent and make us feel more confident and make us feel better. And you have to just be aware of how different sources of information are making you feel.

Dr. Aliza Pressman: Its' so funny because I had these clients who texted me, it was a couple and they texted me that they were having an argument because one of their babies was nine months old and was crying after they put her to bed. One of them really did not want her to cry and was like, “I need to go in.” The other one was like, “No, we need her to sleep. Let's just give it 15 minutes.” And they were arguing and they decided to text me. And they were like, “What's the right answer?” And I said to them: “Well it would be fake news if I gave you the right answer because one of you wants to go pick up the baby and one of you thinks it's not okay. And do I think that your nine-month-old is going to be just fine if you don't go in? I certainly do, but I don't have to be there listening. So, that's not for me to say. He said, one of the guys said, “Can you just give me the fake news? Like step-by-step, how many minutes, what can we do?” And I was like: “Okay, I will, if that will give you ease, I'll give you what I would do based on what I know. But I just want to strongly reiterate that that is my opinion and it may not work for you, and if it doesn't work for you or if it makes you feel like you're tight in the chest or you're going to fight more, just ignore it.” And they were like, “We will, but it really feels better.” It's a soothing balm to hear your list, like a to-do list. So I did it, but I was like, okay, I'm going to do this. But because I think some people really get comfort in being told these are the five steps. But that's not my out-of-the-gate response because it can backfire and people can feel so rigid.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: Science doesn't often really give us the details like you go in after five minutes of crying, then put their pacifier in once. It's just not that clear. It's more like overarching principles, like in your book. It's not as prescriptive. It's not like, this is exactly what you do. In some ways that would be easier as parents. There's all these other factors. There's values and there's what works best for your life and if you have other kids. There's just so many factors that go into it. It would be so easy if it was like, this is exactly what you do.

Dr. Aliza Pressman: I think that's probably why scripts and social media can be so appealing for some people. Then if it is, great. If you're like me, I don't care if it's aligned with my values and I don't care if it's scientific, I just want exactly minute-to-minute what to do. That's okay. But just be aware of it.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: Yes, exactly. So one of your principles is reflection, which is, thinking about how you are a parent, what you would do differently.  I would love to hear from you. You're ahead of me in the parenting game. You have older kids. You're also a top parenting expert in the world. I would love to hear, what would you do differently if you were back in the stage of having little kids? And what advice do you have for those of us who are kind of still in the trenches with little kids and give us some hope for the future that we're going to get through it?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: Well, I'll tell you that my kids, when they want to drive me crazy, will say you're a professional parent. Or they'll videotape me when I'm losing it. They say “That feels like a great ad for you.” They keep me very humble because we can know as much science as we can know. It's very easy for me to have thoughts and feelings about something that is not my experience. But if we're late, I'm just as pissed as the next guy. Right? I would say that thinking back I really valued my two daughters' lack of rebelliousness. I really valued what good compliance they had. I think that I probably made them feel valued for it in a way that I wish I hadn't because I think it's a weight on girls in particular that I didn't mean to place on them. If I really dig in and I'm honest and it breaks my heart to think about it, but I do remember those moments when I just didn't want them to embarrass me or something. And it breaks my heart that I spent two seconds giving a hoot. What other people thought in a moment over what my kids were going through or I was going through with them, which is not to say that we shouldn't care about other people because there are moments when you're disrupting someone else's date night, I am going to care because we're part of a world. We're not just like our own individuals, but I mean more like that snarky, braggy, other parent who makes you feel bad and like getting in any way, changing my behavior because of it and like having that reflect on my kids.

Dr. Cara Goodwin: Yes, I've definitely been there. I was just in the grocery store with my three-year-old the other day, and he was majorly showing some challenging behavior, I'll just say. I had a moment where I thought everybody was judging me in the grocery store, which they probably weren't even thinking about.

Dr. Aliza Pressman: It is so hard at the moment. I also wish I could cook. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I'm like the opposite of a perfectionist. I didn't worry about making sure that everything was made beautifully and stuff, but I did like care very much about materials in the household. But food wise, I was like, as long as it's organic. I'm not a good cook, but as they're older now, they don't crave anything. I wish I had learned one dessert or one fun thing that they would always come back for. I will say like it does get better. For example, I have one of my kids driving the other one now. I'm like, this is amazing. 

Dr. Cara Goodwin: Oh my gosh, I can't even imagine at the point I'm at, but that sounds like a lot of fun. This has been so amazing to get all of your insights on so many different topics of parenting. Can you tell our listeners where to find more information about you, your new book, your podcast, or any other resources that you think would be helpful?

Dr. Aliza Pressman: I'm on Instagram at @Raising Good Humans, and you can go to the Raising Good Humans podcast on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts. My book is called The Five Principles of Parenting, and I would love for you to get it and tell me what you think.  I have a Substack newsletter.  It's a free newsletter and I usually have links to the episodes and articles that are an offshoot of one of the conversations that I've had on the podcast. 

Dr. Cara Goodwin: Amazing. Well, thank you so much for being here and for all of your incredible insights. I'm so grateful to have this chance to talk to you. Thank you so much. We all are looking forward to checking out your new book.

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Welcome to the Parenting Translator newsletter! I am Dr. Cara Goodwin, a licensed psychologist with a PhD in child psychology and mother to four children (currently a baby, 3-year-old, 5-year-old, and 8-year-old). I specialize in taking all of the research that is out there related to parenting and child development and turning it into information that is accurate, relevant, and useful for parents! I recently turned these efforts into a non-profit organization since I believe that all parents deserve access to unbiased and free information. This means that I am only here to help YOU as a parent so please send along any feedback, topic suggestions, or questions that you have! You can also find me on Instagram @parentingtranslator, on TikTok @parentingtranslator, and my website (www.parentingtranslator.org).

DISCLAIMER: The information posted by Dr. Cara D. Goodwin, PhD, Parenting Translator, and its representatives on the Instagram account @parentingtranslator, TikTok account @parentingtranslator, website (ParentingTranslator.com), and newsletter (parentingtranslator.substack.com), or any other medium or social media platform (the “Information”) is for educational purposes only and is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical, mental health, legal, or other advice.  Parenting Translator is not engaged in rendering diagnosis, treatment, counseling, or therapy services by providing the Information, and your use of the Information does not create any practitioner-patient or other treatment relationship between you and Dr. Cara D. Goodwin, PhD, Parenting Translator, or any of its representatives.  Dr. Cara D. Goodwin, PhD, Parenting Translator, and its representatives assume no responsibility and expressly disclaim liability for any consequence relating directly or indirectly to any action or inaction you take based on the Information.  Reliance on any Information provided by Parenting Translator, its representatives, and contributors, is solely at your own risk.  Always seek the advice of your own licensed and qualified medical, mental health, legal, or other professional, and do not disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it based on the Information. Call your medical or mental health professional, or 911, for all emergencies.