Are Electronic Toys "Bad" for Children's Development?

The research behind electronic toys and a new bonus podcast and guide on Santa

Dec 20, 2023

Source: Meruyert Gonullu/Pexels

The Research Behind Electronic Toys

Let me paint a picture for you— it’s Christmas morning and your children are opening up their presents from their grandparents. To your shock and dismay, your children pull back the wrapping paper to reveal electronic toys that play the most obnoxious songs, have flashing lights, and will undoubtedly be an eyesore in your playroom. The Montessori account that you follow on Instagram would be horrified that you even allow your children to touch toys such as these. So do you get rid of it? Or might electronic toys not be as bad as you think?

Electronic toys are highly appealing to children and any list of the top holiday toys is sure to include many electronic toys. Electronic toys are any toys that light up, make sounds, move, or respond electronically in some way to children and can include anything from this ever-popular baby toy to remote control cars to a child version of a Peloton. Despite the popularity of these toys, some have suggested that these toys may be less than ideal for children’s development. But is this actually backed by research?

Research finds that the biggest problem with electronic toys is that they disrupt and change the interaction between parent and child during play. Specifically, research finds that parents have a lower quality interaction when playing with electronic toys, as parents are less likely to engage in teaching, provide fewer opportunities for learning, and use less language. Parents are also less responsive to children when playing with electronic toys than when playing with traditional toys or reading books and tend to pause longer in the interaction with their child when playing with electronic toys. The children themselves tend to vocalize less, talk less frequently, and produce a lower variety of words when playing with electronic toys.

Why does this happen? Researchers speculate that electronic toys may distract both parents and children and interrupt opportunities for language. According to the researchers, “parents tend to let the toys do the talking for them” and the “talking, singing, music, and animal sounds produced by the toys often [leave] little room for children to contribute.” Because young children learn best in the context of a high-quality interaction during play, children may be less likely to learn language and other skills when playing with electronic toys.

However, it might not be the electronic aspect that hurts the interaction but rather anything that distracts parents and children away from the interaction. Another study looked at how parents and children play with feedback toys, meaning toys that produces a sound or movement in response to something that the child does. Feedback toys can be either electronic or non-electronic (such as a toy that squeaks when squeezed or a jack-in-the-box). When the researchers compared feedback toys to toys that did not move or make a sound in response to the child using them (such as balls or nesting cups), the researchers found that infants and parents showed higher-quality interactions with toys that provided no feedback, suggesting that feedback of any kind may distract from the parent-child interaction. In other words, it is probably not the flashing lights or the annoying song that go along with electronic toys that results in less high-quality play, but rather anything that distracts either parent or child from the interaction. However, this study did find that infants played with feedback toys for longer, suggesting that these toys may be great choices for independent play.

Why does this matter? Your child getting a lower quality and quantity of language during play is likely to impact their language development, since the quality and quantity of language that children gets from parents is consistently found to predict language development. In addition, electronic toys may result in children producing less language and the less language that children produce the less they are practicing their language and communication skills. It also means that parents don’t have as many chances to build upon what their child is saying, another technique which helps language development.

So I should throw out all of my electric toys? Not unless you want to! Electronic toys are very appealing to children and sometimes you need a toy that will occupy your child while you make dinner or take care of work emails and that is more than okay. I often save electronic toys for the car because this is a time when a high-quality interaction is not possible and an occupied child often means less whining. Because electronic toys are so enticing for children, you could use them to encourage a more reticent child to communicate. For example, you could turn off the toy and wait for your child to request help with it. If your child loves the toy, it could also give you a chance to practice sharing enjoyment (assuming the toy doesn’t drive you crazy)— another important skill for children to learn.

TRANSLATION: We have no evidence that electronic toys are “bad” for your child or are not “educational.” The only potential problem with electronic toys is that they may distract you and your child away from a high-quality social interaction.

So what should you do with the electronic toys you currently have or might receive this holiday season?

Just press the “off” switch or take out the batteries and your electronic toy becomes as good as any wooden “educational” toy on the market! Of course, you don’t have to do this but if you find that it is distracting you from an interaction with your child, it might be a good idea.
Make more of an effort with electronic toys! To keep electronic toys from resulting in a lower quality interaction, just make a conscious effort to improve the interaction with your child. You can do this by using electronic toys in creative ways, incorporating pretend play, following your children’s lead, and using increased language while playing with an electronic toy.
Use electronic toys when you can’t have a high-quality interaction. You may not want to use electronic toys every time you play with your child but you might want to use them when you need your child to be occupied while you attend to something else or when a high-quality interaction isn’t possible (like in the car or when you are too tired to engage).
Above all, focus on the interaction with your child and it doesn’t matter what kind of toy you are playing with. Remember that the most educational aspect of playing with your child is your involvement not the type of toy you use.

The Research on Santa

In honor of the holiday season, I am also releasing a bonus podcast and free PDF guide on the research behind Santa today. These resources include research on whether parents should use Santa and the naughty/nice list to encourage better behavior, whether it is lying to encourage belief in Santa, how children tend to feel when they find out about Santa, and what you can do to encourage your child to believe in Santa for longer (if that is what you want to do).

New podcast on Santa:

New PDF guide on Santa

And if you would prefer to read this content on Substack, here it is:

Should You Use Santa to Encourage “Good” Behavior (aka the Naughty or Nice List)?

Throughout the month of December, many parents who celebrate Christmas (and even some who don’t) rely on Santa Claus to regulate their children’s behaviors. More recently, parents have even started to use one of Santa’s elves (the “Elf on the Shelf”) to provide children with a daily reminder that someone is watching them and reporting their behavior back to Santa. At nearly every holiday activity, you will hear parents warning their children that “Santa is watching” or “You better be good if you want Christmas presents.” This message is pervasive in our culture— songs, movies, TV shows, and even Santa at the mall or older relatives asking “Have you been good?”.

So does this strategy actually work in improving children’s behavior? And, if so, are children only behaving to earn presents rather than developing an intrinsic motivation to be kind or cooperate? Finally, how might this strategy impact children in the long-term?

This strategy is unlikely to actually improve behavior. The behavioral principle behind Santa is that the promise of a later reward (that is, presents on Christmas) will lead children to turn down the option of a more immediate reward (such as doing what they want instead of listening to a parent). However, research finds that most young children are not capable of turning down one reward for a later reward even if it is only a few minutes later, so it seems highly unlikely that children would change behavior for a reward up to 25 days later. In addition, as children get older, this strategy may become even more ineffective as children learn that this reward is not actually based on performance (in other words, most children still get presents on Christmas whether they behaved according to parent expectations or not).

In addition, the “nice” and “naughty” list isn’t always framed in a positive way and often involves threats of punishment (“No Christmas presents if you don’t start listening” or “If you’re on the ‘naughty’ list, you will get nothing but coal”). However, research suggests that punishment (even non-physical punishment) is associated with more unkind behaviors in children. In addition, research suggests that a threat of negative consequences may also be ineffective at promoting positive behavior in children. For example, telling children a story which emphasizes the negative consequences of lying does not seem to be associated with more honesty in children.

Even if Santa does change behavior for the month of December, it may decrease intrinsic motivation to behave after the holiday season. Even when Santa is framed positively as a way for children to earn rewards for “good” behavior, research suggests that this strategy is likely not effective at improving behavior in the long-run because it may decrease intrinsic motivation (that is, a child’s internal drive to behave). Research finds that tangible rewards (such as presents) that are expected (that is, promised in advance) and are not linked to performance (as is often the case for Christmas presents) are associated with decreased intrinsic motivation. This means that, even if the promise of Christmas presents resulted in improved behavior during the month of December, children might actually become less likely to continue to choose to behave appropriately after the promise of Christmas presents is removed. Put even more simply, your child may become more likely to “misbehave” after Christmas is over as a result of offering this type of reward.

When you use this strategy as a threat, it may also have other negative consequences. Research also indicates that telling children lies to regulate their behavior is associated with increased anxiety in the teenage years and being less well-adjusted in the adult years (more on lying below). In practice, Santa also typically involves expressing disappointment and shaming children for misbehavior. Research also finds that expressing disappointment and shaming children as a discipline tactic may be associated with increased anxiety and aggression in children.

TRANSLATION: Avoid linking Santa to behavior or any discussion of the “nice” and “naughty” list. This strategy is not only likely to be ineffective in improving your child’s behavior but may also have some unintended negative consequences.

Is It Lying to Encourage Belief in Santa?

So it seems clear from the research that using Santa to change your child’s behavior is linked to negative consequences. So can you just do the whole Santa thing without discussing behavior or the “nice” and “naughty” list? Or does promoting these myths mean you are “lying” to your child?

First, it is important to note that lying to children in some way is very common in parents. One study found that 84% of parents in the US and 98% of parents in China lie to their children. Interestingly, parents in the US were more likely to lie to control their child’s emotions and parents in China were more likely to lie to control their child’s behavior.

Research is pretty clear that lying to manipulate your child’s behavior (I will refer to it as controlling lying here) is associated with negative consequences. Research finds that controlling lying is associated with increased anxiety in the teenage years and being less well-adjusted in the adult years. This research suggests that parents should try to avoid using Santa to control their child’s behavior (although of course, this is only a correlation and it is very possible that these negative impacts may be caused by a general difference in parenting style).

However, it remains unclear whether simply lying (or omitting the truth) about Santa without linking it to behavior has a negative impact on children. There is also some evidence that school-age children may be more likely to lie when they see it modeled. One study found that, when adults lie to school-age children, they are more likely to cheat and lie as a result (however, this study found that preschool-age children do not show increased cheating and lying when they observe an adult lie).

In addition, the lies that most parents tell about Santa (when they are not using threats of Santa to control behavior) is a different kind of lying— it is often lying with the hopes of making their child happy or their child’s Christmas more magical. This type of lying that is intended to benefit others is called prosocial lying in the research. Research finds that prosocial lying is linked to compassion for another person and that children maintain trust for an adult when they find out that the adult lied to benefit others versus when the adult lied to them to benefit themselves. Therefore, it is possible that these types of lies wouldn’t have the same impact on children.

Finally, for young children, talking about Santa leaving gifts can be a type of pretend play (you can even tell them that it is pretend play if that feels right to you). Pretend play is developmentally normal for young children and it is typical for them that pretend play blurs with reality sometimes.

TRANSLATION: Research finds that lying to your children in hopes of controlling their behavior is associated with negative outcomes. In addition, it is possible that children may model lying (or omitting the truth) when they see their parents doing it in this context. However, it is also possible that children understand that parents were lying for their benefit and it may not negatively impact the trust they have in their parents.

Overall Translation

Promoting belief in Santa is a very personal decision that each family must make for themselves based on many different factors. Parents should try to decide the messaging they would like their children to get about Santa as soon as possible and make sure they are on the same page as their parenting partner if they have one.

Whether or not you decide to encourage belief in Santa, the following takeaway messages from the research may be helpful for you:

Focus on the positive sides of Santa: Research finds that even thinking about Santa may make children behave more generously to others. Rather than focusing on the “nice” and “naughty” list this Christmas season, you can consider talking to your children about the kind and generous nature of Santa (or the kindness and generosity of anyone who gives gifts if you don’t do the Santa thing) and how they can embody the “Christmas spirit” in their own lives.
Improve your child’s behavior around the holidays by praising and paying attention to positive behavior: If you would like to reward your child’s good behavior throughout the holiday season (and beyond), use positive attention instead of empty threats. Have the Elf on the Shelf point out anything your child does right rather than what they did wrong. For example, “I noticed that you shared with your brother yesterday.” There is no reason to link it to presents or to label your child in any way. If you don’t do Elf on the Shelf or Santa, you can also use this strategy yourself and it will likely be even more effective. Research shows that positive attention from parents increases the likelihood that a child shows kind and cooperative behavior.
Handle challenging behavior around the holidays with more effective parenting strategies: Instead of using threats related to Santa as an unrelated consequence, use natural and logical consequences to manage your child’s challenging behavior during the holidays. Research suggests that the most effective parenting strategies for improving behavior involve logical and natural consequences rather than unrelated consequences. In other words, children are more likely to learn not to throw their Christmas cookies if you take away the cookies when they throw them rather than taking away presents 25 days later.

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